what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
I party with great urgency now.
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