It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
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