office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
Randomize
