I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
Randomize
