i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
So vagazzling was a success
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
Randomize
