so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
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