im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
