Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize
