Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
Randomize
