his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
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