$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
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