Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
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