Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
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