I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
