At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
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