"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
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