Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
