I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
Randomize
