i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
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