I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
Randomize
