Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
Is that strawberry winking at me??
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