Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
Randomize