her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
Randomize
