I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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