Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
Randomize
