Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
She just used a chaser for red wine.
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
Randomize
