Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
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