wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
can u get pink eye on your cock?
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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