Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
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