Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
Randomize
