she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
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