He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
How do I un-spend everything I bought last night? Seriously...was a penis shaped piñata and enough tequila to fill my bathtub really that necessary?
At least you can say you've literally dumped money down the drain
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
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