I am in a vortex of obligation.
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
I smell like Dick and happiness
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
Randomize
