i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
No I am not eating basil off your cock
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Randomize
