Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
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