apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
Randomize
