Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
Did I show you my penis last night?
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
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