after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
Randomize
