You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
Randomize
