I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
Randomize
