I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
Randomize
