tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
Randomize
