Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
Randomize
