fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
Ran into my prostitute at Costco yesterday. She was with her boyfriend, I was with my kids. Awwwwkward.
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
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