I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
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