are you still at the devil's house?
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
