She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
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