I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
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