i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
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