Your face is a jimmy john
I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
you will always have a special place in my vag
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
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