he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Randomize
