So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
I want to fling myself into the sun
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
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